


Untitled, but Basically Sasuke Gets His Wisdom Teeth Removed

by SasukeUzumaki



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anyways Sasuke gets his wisdom teeth removed at 19, Because apparently I think that's really old for getting wisdom teeth removed, Commentary throughout as I scream, Cut me some more slack than I cut myself, I HAND WROTE THIS, I hope you laugh as much as I did but I highly doubt it, I never attempted to write anything explicit in middle school so you have nothing to worry about, I wrote this in MIDDLE SCHOOL, I'm so glad the one with the orange Jeep has been destroyed, IN MY FREE TIME, IT'S OVER 1K WORDS AND I HAND WROTE IT, M/M, Nothing happens thank GOD, Rated T for language and some references to sexual things, This is unedited save for my additional notes, You aren't rediscovering this as a relic of your younger years, in middle school, short read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-25 21:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13843782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SasukeUzumaki/pseuds/SasukeUzumaki
Summary: Today was it, today was the day that the almighty Sasuke Uchiha was going to get his wisdom teeth removed, and at 19 years of age, it was about time... Join me as we venture into a fanfiction I wrote in middle school and will now proceed to make fun of.





	Untitled, but Basically Sasuke Gets His Wisdom Teeth Removed

**Author's Note:**

> So, as you've read, I wrote this in middle school. I hand wrote it in a tiny journal I just rediscovered. Here it is, in all of its unedited glory.
> 
> (The only difference is that my new notes are written in parenthesis, like this statement).
> 
> I hope you have fun reading this. It's not my standard, but I screamed almost the whole time I read it, so I had to post it. This is a bit heavy on the language, more from new me and less from old me, but it's present both places.

“Have you started recording?” Ino asked impatiently, “He’s waking up!”

“Yeah, yeah, I started it,” Sakura replied.

“Too bad Naruto’s going to miss this – so much blackmail material!” Ino giggled.

Today was the day that the almighty Sasuke Uchiha was getting his wisdom teeth removed. At age 19, it was about damned time (I am literally dying reading this omg I’m older and I still haven’t had mine mentioned yet). His friends could hardly wait to see the typically cold man rant about the strangest things.

“Naruto’ll be back, he just went to get drinks.” Sakura reassured her blonde friend.

“Wh-where am I?” A groggy voice asked.

“You’re at the dentist’s office.” Ino replied.

“Dentist? What’s a dentist?” Their male friend replied (male, blonde, replied – why did I write like this?)

“A dentist is a –“

“Who am I?” He asked, cutting Sakura off.

“You’re Sasuke Uchiha, remember?” Sakura reminded him (no shit, couldn’t guess by ‘remember’). Sasuke in turn made a confused face.

“Uchiha?” He asked.

The door opened and the dentist’s assistant came in to check up on the patient (just say Sasuke good GOD). She bent over him to put the cotton Sasuke was attempting to take out of his mouth back in (do they actually give cotton balls?).

“No, no, no.” Sasuke’s speech was slurred.

“Keep those in, Mr. Uchiha.” The assistant said in a tone that implied she was talking to a child (that was a very long-winded explanation).

“Hey, when is Naruto getting back? He’s taken a while.” Ino asked.

“Naruto?” Sasuke asked excitedly.

“Yeah, Naruto’s here.” Sakura suppressed a giggle (So. Many. Giggles.)

“Naruto…” Sasuke breathed out, slinking back down into the chair. He hummed in pleasure at whatever was on his drugged up mind now.

“You like Naruto?” Sakura asked, the giggle evident in her voice (no giggles PLEASE).

“No.” Sasuke replied.

“Why not?” Ino asked.

“He’s stupid.”

“You can say that again.” Sakura whispered to Ino.

“He doesn’t understand. I need him. NEED him.”

The girls shot each other looks, their mouths barely containing their laughter (laughter > giggles).

“Why do you need him?” Sakura’s voice wavered.

“I have needs.” Was the contented reply. “He needs to fucmph.”

“What?” Sakura asked.

“I said he needs to fuck me into the mattress (Did you just say the FUCK WORD?!?!?).”

Sakura and Ino burst out laughing. It had been obvious that Sasuke had had his eye on Naruto for a while, but he never admitted to anything.

Ino struggled to breathe.

“Oh my god, we have GOT to show Naruto this!” She cackled (still better than giggling).

Sasuke looked at his hands questioningly. He moved the fingers individually, carefully examining them.

“What are these?” Sasuke asked.

“They’re your hands.” Sakura answered, tears still tickling her eyes after her previous laughing fit.

The door opened and there he was, the object to soothe Sasuke’s “needs” (best way to describe Naruto omfg).

“Oh, look, Naruto’s here!” Ino said in a teasing manner. Naruto raised an eyebrow as Sasuke turned to see him.

“Naruto.” Sasuke said in greeting. The blond placed a hand next to Sasuke’s shoulder. ~~and~~ Sasuke eyed it suspiciously (wth, I can’t spell that without spell check now).

“Hey-yo Ice Prince, what’s up?” Sasuke gasped and grabbed Naruto’s hand.

“What?” Naruto asked.

“You have them too.” Sasuke said, his voice full of wonder. Sakura and Ino lost it again, doubling over with their laughter.

“Yeah, Sasuke, they’re hands. Pretty much everyone has them.” Naruto replied, a smile forming on his face. Sasuke observed him.

“You’re pretty.” Sasuke said absentmindedly. The laughter doubled in volume as a confused look graced the blond’s features.

The nurse (she’s not technically a nurse, tho) came in to inform them that they could take Sasuke now. Naruto helped Sasuke into the car, Sakura and Ino whispering to each other behind their backs.

They got into the car, with Sakura in the driver’s seat. Ino insisted that Naruto sat next to Sasuke, so he did (amazing. What a pushover). Sasuke watched in silence as the scenery slipped by out the window.

“Are you taking me somewhere?” Sasuke asked.

“Yeah, we’re taking you to my place.” Naruto replied. Ino and Sakura shot each other a look. Sasuke turned to look at Naruto.

“Look,” he said confidently, placing a hand on Naruto’s thigh, “I don’t fuck on the first date.”

Naruto’s eyes grew wide as the girls cackled, Sakura almost ramming the vehicle into a tree (there are so many sentences, such as that one, that should’ve been broken up into two). They collected themselves, listening intently.

“…Okay. Good to know, Sasuke.” Naruto replied awkwardly, patting the pale hand on his thigh (again, should be two sentences).

Sasuke withdrew the hand, looking out the window again.

“I guess I can make an exception.”

Sakura pulled into Naruto’s driveway, barely able to breathe around the barking laughter she was emitting (ok, that imagery is just terrifying). Naruto’s face turned bright red at the statement.

They got out of the car, saying goodbyes.

“Please, one of you stay with me.” Naruto pleaded (I couldn’t guess by him saying ‘please’).

“You’re on your own, tiger.” Sakura replied with a wink (don’t suggest he fuck him, please). The girls clamored into the vehicle and drove off. Naruto sighed.

“Do you have fishies?” Sasuke asked (ok that’s fucking hilarious. I wrote this in middle school, years before my brother was born, and that’s what he actually fucking calls them. That’s weird).

“Fishies?” He asked (I should’ve restated it was Naruto, since Sasuke is also a man, and Naruto technically hasn’t spoken in this particular convo yet).

“They’re… fish. Color. Like you.” Sasuke poked him in the side.

“Like me?” Naruto asked.

“Yup.” Sasuke grabbed a fistfull (FIRST SPELLING MISTAKE FUCK YEAH) of Naruto’s orange jacket.

“Oh, goldfish (that is a brand name and should be capitalized)!” Naruto exclaimed, “Yeah, I got some.”

They entered the small house, Naruto helping Sasuke out of his jacket and shoes (HOLY FUCK DON’T GIVE HIM FUCKING GOLDFISH HE CAN’T EAT YET). Sasuke leaned against him, purring contentedly (I’m guilty of making him ‘purr’ when it isn’t possible. Sue me). Naruto sighed.

“I love you…” Sasuke said groggily, stretching as he yawned. Naruto’s eyes went wide at the confession, then his face softened (another sentence that should be two).

“Yeah, buddy, I love you too (buddy zoned. Harsh).” He said with a pat to the pale man’s (SASUKE. SAY SAUSKE. HE HAS A NAME) shoulder. “I love you, too.”

* * *

 

Sasuke awoke slowly, groaning at the slight pain in his mouth. He unconciously (Good. I still can’t spell that. Also it should be subconsciously but w/e) sought out the warmth beside him (If they fucked I am gonna FLIP), which in turn wrapped itself around him. He sighed in contentment (he’s really fucking content in here my god) and laid there for a few seconds.

He shot up, sitting upright as he realizedthe warmth wasn’t a _what_ but a _who_ (classic fanfic cliché. Brings tears to my eyes). There the blond was, the object of his contained affections (not very contained well oh no), snoring away into his sleep. Sasuke stayed, watching the man breathe.

“You know, you don’t have to stare.”

Sasuke jumped in surprise as his eyes locked onto the blue ones he had come to love (ok, that just sounds out of place and forced there).

“I wasn’t – I was just – I” Sasuke stuttered, his body tensing as a light blush dusted his cheeks (ok, I cannot tell if that says ‘cheeks’ or ‘checks’, but I have horrible handwriting so Imma give myself that one). Naruto laughed a wholehearted laugh (wholeheartedly. Not so wordy) and Sasuke relaxed to a degree.

“You should’ve heard what you said to me yesterday.” Naruto said.

“What did I say?” Sasuke asked cautiously (Imma give you three guesses, babe. You woke up in bed with the man). Shit, this was not going in any direction he liked (no shit).

“Oh, nothing.” Naruto folded his arms behind his head, eyeing the raven-haired (HE’S A HUMAN, NOT A RAVEN, OH DEAR GOD FUCK ME IN THE ASS WITH A CACTUS) male. Sasuke eyed him warily.

“…do I want to know?” Sasuke asked slowly, closing his eyes. His eyes reopened (He… blinked. Right? That’s what he did there? It’s called a fucking blink) as Naruto brought his face closer to his own.

“I’ll tell you later.” Naruto’s hot breath fanned Sasuke’s lips (ooh, steamy), causing him to swallow nervously.

Oh shit, what did he do?

**Author's Note:**

> I’m assuming since I didn’t mention any state of undress that they did not fuck. That makes me feel, like, 5,000x better. And there you have it! A fanfiction I wrote in fucking middle school. I never posted it bc it’s shit but that’s ok – I’m shit too, now. Hope you laughed along with me!


End file.
